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| Aw |
...but rapidly spiral into hopelessness and despair.
 |
| Oh |
There are times when I wish that there was somebody to say goodnight before I go to bed, or with whom I could eat breakfast (breakfast, who am I fooling?) in the mornings, but mostly I'm perfectly content. I like my own company. I don't feel the need to be constantly surrounded by chatter and noise and other people. The fact that I lived in Halls during my first year at college made the aloneness less of a culture shock, too, because although I shared a kitchen with thirteen other girls there was often nobody about during the week when I left for lectures (or napping in either Costa or Insomnia) or when I returned later on.
The hermit life has its perks; for example, I can forget to shut the bathroom door behind me and only realise once I'm in the shower and it doesn't matter because ain't nobody around to see. I can fill the cupboards and fridge with whatever I like and it is with this sentiment in mind that my cupboard is currently occupied by a half empty box of chocolatey, diabetesy breakfast cereal, a tin of pineapple, some Barry's tea bags from home in an attractive IKEA tin, .and a hipflask. I can sing as I potter about the apartment without fear of ridicule. Last but certainly not least, in fact, probably most importantly, I can change into skimpy shorts and a baggy four year old t-shirt as soon as I get in from work and there is nobody there to pass judgement - it is just my internal monologue that berates my thighs each time I pass the mirror in the hallway.
I have to constantly remind myself that I am not Bridget Jones and so far I have held back on drinking wine in the apartment (much as I've wanted to drink wine in the apartment, like an adult). I'm far too young to drink alone and hope to delay reaching this new realm of pathetic for as long as possible. Also, there is the persistent worry that I will collapse or injure myself and nobody would be around to hear my pleas for help. Think about it, if I slipped in the shower on Friday evening and had no plans that weekend, and was either unconscious or my phone was out of reach, I could potentially be facing a weekend naked on the bathroom floor with a possibly fractured skull or limb. Nobody would notice until Monday when I inevitably wouldn't turn up at work.
I'm fond of my hermitic way of living and definitely prefer it to sharing with strange Germans. Don't get me wrong, Germans, strange or otherwise, are of endless fascination to me but living with three or four of them would involve tidiness and taking things like recycling very seriously. I'm all for recycling but I wouldn't lose sleep if something cardboard found its way into general waste. A German might.
P.S. the weather. Oh, the weather. It reached THIRTY-NINE DEGREES yesterday and I genuinely thought that I was going to die so I drank three entire litres of water in the hope of staving off fatal dehydration. If I have to tussle with tangled sheets again tonight at two in the morning I think I will end up getting very angry and doing something rash and ridiculous like throwing them out the window in a fit of rage. This afternoon I went to Saturn, the German answer to Power City only not shit, to buy a fan only to find out that they are sold out and won't be back in stock until Monday, but in the meantime I could buy a NASA-engineered oscillating "air system" for €399. Sod that. It is currently raining and there is thunder and lightening but it still feels as though I'm trapped in a room with the steam of one million just-boiled kettles. To add insult to injury, one of my colleagues has suggested a trip to the local lake for a spot of swimming this weekend if the weather holds. I have not appeared in public wearing a bikini since 2009 and do not wish to change this so I now have one more reason to beg whatever force is controlling this weather nonsense for some nice anti-social single-figure temperatures and a bit of wind, to arrive Saturday afternoon at the very latest.
 |
| Certain fate - starvation and/or alcohol poisoning |
I'm fond of my hermitic way of living and definitely prefer it to sharing with strange Germans. Don't get me wrong, Germans, strange or otherwise, are of endless fascination to me but living with three or four of them would involve tidiness and taking things like recycling very seriously. I'm all for recycling but I wouldn't lose sleep if something cardboard found its way into general waste. A German might.
P.S. the weather. Oh, the weather. It reached THIRTY-NINE DEGREES yesterday and I genuinely thought that I was going to die so I drank three entire litres of water in the hope of staving off fatal dehydration. If I have to tussle with tangled sheets again tonight at two in the morning I think I will end up getting very angry and doing something rash and ridiculous like throwing them out the window in a fit of rage. This afternoon I went to Saturn, the German answer to Power City only not shit, to buy a fan only to find out that they are sold out and won't be back in stock until Monday, but in the meantime I could buy a NASA-engineered oscillating "air system" for €399. Sod that. It is currently raining and there is thunder and lightening but it still feels as though I'm trapped in a room with the steam of one million just-boiled kettles. To add insult to injury, one of my colleagues has suggested a trip to the local lake for a spot of swimming this weekend if the weather holds. I have not appeared in public wearing a bikini since 2009 and do not wish to change this so I now have one more reason to beg whatever force is controlling this weather nonsense for some nice anti-social single-figure temperatures and a bit of wind, to arrive Saturday afternoon at the very latest.
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